The Sholihin Show

2007-03-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

you're the one mistake/ i really didn't mind/ so beautiful, unmerciful/ it took me down/ you fake it easy just to please me/ don't you know/ it's not like i haven't tried over and over again/ sleepless nights, wrong or right/

my darling girl. you look so pretty and innocent.
you look just like mummy.
i'm so proud to have you, baby.
so harmless, nobody's gonna harm you.
the only thing that'll harm you is us, me and mummy.
mummy told me she doesnt feel the same way as she felt before.
sometimes shit just happens, but i'll never be able to forgive myself.
and mummy doesnt treat me as nice no more.
the thing is, i gave her my everything. i gave in to her demands.
i sacrificed so many things just to please her.
some she never knew.
i gave her the world. i knew no limits.
and she's that one person i'm willing to die for.
i think me and mummy met for a reason.
and i'm thankful to Him.
but i gotta do what's best for us.
some things are just more important than me.
i've cried a river. i've bled a stream.
and it seems like the hallway to happiness has faded.
when you're old enough to understand or feel what love is, always remember that i love mummy so much. i love her with all my heart and soul. i'd love her till my dying day.
and i love you too. we both love you.
dont forget to spew your milk out on grand dad's shirt if he feeds you.
take care of mummy when i'm gone.
i gotta go now. i'm sorry.
tell mummy i've been missing her terribly.
tell her i love her.

*cocks*

2007-03-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

and i know you heard the last song about the girls that didn't last long/ but i promise this is on a whole new plane/ i can tell by the way she says my name/ i love the way she calls my phone/ she even got her very own ringtone/ if that ain't love then i don't know what love is/

remember

the first time i saw your face.

the first time we spoke.

the first touch.

the jokes we did on each other.

the first time we met.

the first movie we ever watched.

the first time we held hands.

the first time we kissed.

the first time we hugged.

this feels like the very first day.

who knew.

they dont.

but i do.

i truly, fucking do.

i love you baby.

sleep tight. good night.

2007-03-10T20:49:00.000-08:00

pride can stand a thousand trials/ the strong will never fall/ but watching stars without you, my soul cries/ heaving heart is full of pain/ oh, oh the aching/ 'cause i'm kissing you, / i'm kissing you/ touch me deep, pure, and true/ give to me forever/ 'cause i'm kissing you, / i'm kissing you/ where are you now?/ where are you now?/ 'cause i'm kissing you/ i'm kissing you/

i pray that this will not be forever.

my motivation, inspiration in life.

i've never tasted anything like this before.

i'm like a prisoner, serving his sentence.

leave you be.

i just cant.

what i have now is only photos of you.

i can only reminisce about the past.

things are not going to be the same anymore.

i dont understand. but i think i do.

and i deserve it.

thank you god, for sending her down from heaven.

i've never thanked you enough.

i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.

2007-03-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

there ain’t no more satan to impeach your soul/ he can’t affect you, he can dissect you/ and change your mind/ bad thoughts can direct you/ defects can be gains/ your worries are tainted/ mistakes can be saints/ cause they can correct you/

at six in the morning, i was still * ___________________*. i fell asleep soon after. but i woke up at around seven; i dreamt that she called. i literally stood up. there wasnt any call. i couldnt stop * _______________*. and it happened again at eight. i got up and reached for the phone. it was just a dream. i couldnt sleep after that. i just * ________________* and ________________*.

2007-03-09T04:46:00.000-08:00

if this is true love, you wouldn't do what you did last time/ you wouldn't screw up this time, cause this time/ i'm telling you what, you do it again *______________ *, no matter what/

you're the one person i cant live without.

god knows how much i need you.

god knows how much i love you.

and i can't seem to move on.

not without you.

never seemed, never will.

and i won't stop * _______________________ * till you come back again.

i'm so exhausted. i get shitted on every fucking day. i cant even get a good night's sleep when i have the chance to. i'm always under constant attacks. i coughed out fresh blood this morning. i'm at the extreme point where i could just say, "fuck it. i'm done". but when it comes to that one special person, i'd do anything just to see that beautiful smile. i was even willing to go beyond the limits. how much can one take? that wasnt even an issue at all. the fact that i sacrificed everything just to be with that one person, i knew s/he was the perfect one. i reflected back on myself. no matter what she did, no matter what drama it was, i was always there to catch her when she falls. but i screwed up, again. and there's no turning back. i'm willing to change all that. i know i've said it so many times. i'm just human. and you are too. that's why i always run back to your arms time and again. and for now, i beg for you to come back. i'll do anything.

kiss me when i cry.

be with me by my side.

i've always thought you are the one i've been waiting for all these while.

2007-03-03T18:56:00.000-08:00

it's a fucking zoo out here/ these fucking chimpanzees, fucking monkeys talking about me/ it's the first to the mud, bitch/ bitches out on the curb, i'm like "look at these dunks"/ bunch of fucking jackasses/

all talk, no cock.

hahaha.

you fucking coward. tell me who you are and i'll make it happen.

fucking coward. pussy punk ass fuck.

my loose leaf, your whole persona's weak.

i am the guy your father never was, or could've been fucking your dead grandmother, had to struggle six feet up, out her grave to * censored * just because i refuse to pick up the shovel.

i have the whole dictionary written on my dick.

hold up, hold up.

how about putting some words in your mouth.

speak now or forever hold a dick in your mouth.

2007-03-01T07:26:00.000-08:00

fucking dummies/ this ain't chess/ you playing motherfuckin checkers/ this shit is all day man it's too easy/ you 'bout to get your motherfucking asses jumped/ fucking punks/

they dont matter anymore.

do it again.

just where the hell are they.

2007-02-24T08:07:00.000-08:00

they say that every man grows up to marry his own mother/ which would explain why you're such a motherfucking bitch/ you're the ink to my paper/ where my pen is to my pad/ the moral, the very fiber/ you are the word i am looking for when i'm trying to describe how i feel inside/ and the right one just won't come to my mind/ the bitch who never took half/ the wife who never divorce me/ you let me beat the shit out of you/ before you beat the shit out of me/

2007-02-03T19:18:00.000-08:00

where you are the one, the one that lies close to me/ whispers, "hello, i miss you quite terribly"/ i fell in love, in love, with you suddenly/ now there's no place else, I could be, but, here in your arms/

what if, you've painted a pretty picture,

and you decide to crush it and throw it away.

what are you gonna do.

2007-01-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

she's a pretty girl/ she's always falling down/ and i think i just fell in love with her/ but she won't ever remember, remember/

she wrote:

i close my eyes, see the whole world pass me by
and time stands still
all i think about is you
tears roll down my face
knowing you dont know how much i love you

in your eyes i see your love

but in my eyes you didnt see mine

2007-01-25T18:46:00.000-08:00

please understand/ this isn't just goodbye/ this is i can't stand you/ this is where the road crashed into the ocean/ it rises all around me/ and now we're barely breathing/ a thousand faces we'll choose to ignore/

seek for shelter
zero hour, i am overpowered
hymns and melodies
life begins when you speak
words so beautiful
beautiful as the joy you portray
a little too late
impressed with horror
a vile venomous hate you painted so much
and i scream in desperation
i pray you would come back home again

and she wrote:

sweet memories we share
thru thick and thin we'll be there
together you and me
hand in hand walking in the sun
the day i die
tears roll down my eyes
as i reminisce the times of you and me
in my memory it lies still
and unchanged for it will be eternity

2007-01-24T04:52:00.000-08:00

i remember everything that you claimed/ you said that you were moving on now/ maybe i should do the same/

love can be glorious.

but there's more to life, than love itself.

and maybe that's true.

you just showed me how.

2006-12-24T06:33:00.000-08:00

amongst the vending machines/ and year old magazines/ in a place where we only say goodbye/ it stung like a violent wind/ that our memories depend/ on a faulty camera in our minds/

why, does life feels so empty when you're down.

and out.

and thinking of what sarah said.

that love is watching someone die.

subliminal.

i'm down to my last.

take me away with you.

sarah. sarah who?

2006-12-15T18:28:00.000-08:00

and the dogs were whistling a new tune/ barking at the new moon/ hoping it would come soon/ so that they could die/ the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day/ till the feeling went away/ the sky was falling and the clouds were dropping/ and the rainfall forgot how to bring salvation/

we took a break for a minute

and now we're banging

but we've been listening to everything

that you been saying, he was saying, she been saying

they've been spraying

motherfuckers, talk is cheap

and now we coming

from '06 through in

everything is shazana

2006-12-08T22:27:00.000-08:00

when it get's real loud/ i get even louder/ gotta turn me on/ get my dick even harder/

so, what if i never hold you, or kiss your lips again?

so i never want to leave you and the memories of us to see.

i beg, don't leave me.

can you make me hot/ make me touch the ceiling/ can you read my mind/ can you give me that feeling/

2006-11-18T05:12:00.000-08:00

i go crazy/ when i look in your eyes/ i still go crazy/ my heart just can't hide that old feeling inside/ way deep down inside/ oh, baby, you know when i look in your eyes/ i go crazy/

i want to share your troubles with you.

cause i'm not leaving you alone in the lurch.

i'm here to stay.

right by your side.

and i aint going anywhere else.

life's a bitch sometimes.

two is always better than one.

to sail through tough times.

2006-11-16T02:33:00.000-08:00

if i'm so wrong/ how can you listen all night long?/ now will it matter long after i'm gone?/ because you never learn a god damn thing/

so i'm getting married next month. i'm gonna be a daddy soon. and a husband to a lovely, beautiful young lady. and we're expecting a girl. with the face just like her mum's.

i was playing with you, stupid.

but to you sweetheart, i love you so much. let's get down to it. let's make that happen.

2006-10-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

red do plots, murder schemes/ 32, shotguns regulate with my dunns/ 17 rocks gleam from one ring/ let me let you bitches know one thing/ there's one life, one love, so there can only be one king/

i'm done with this.

see you next season.

get familiar.

2006-10-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

as i combine all the juice on my mind/ kill them, kill them, get me back on the line/ powerful impact, move on the track/ contact! grady, guess who's back/

welcome to the loser's convention
and it includes friends, her, relatives; or maybe even you

she asked her who's prettier, herself or the girl. the friend, not wanting to hurt her, told her that she's prettier. and her ego got big, really thinking that she's the better looking one. and then the friend met up with her friend and the girl. told them and laughed all about it. now she's really believing those words her friend had lied to her. she's prettier. even her monstrous, giant, oh-my-fucking-god-is-that-a-black-zila cousin thinks she's better looking than the girl.

oh, the body odour.

help these people in need.

2006-10-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

i still can't sleep/ took some medicine/ but it's not working/ someone's clinging to me/ and it's bittersweet/ cause s/he's head over heels/ but it ain't that deep/

the top feels so much better than the bottom

so much better

bitch, you's a window shopper

mad at me, i think i know why

bitch, you's a window shopper

peeking at me when i walk by

bitch you're a window shopper

time to grow up, dont even bother trying

bitch, you's a window shopper

i laughed so hard when i saw you cry

-fif-

2006-09-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

it's okay to be angry and never let go/ it only gets harder, the more that you know/ when you get lonely, if no one's around/ you know that i'll catch you when you're falling down/

happy 3rd month anniversary darling.

i'm so glad to have come this far with you.

this means a lot to me.

you still make me nervous and you wonder why.

so my lovely convict, when can we meet for an inspection again?

you are guilty as charged.

sleep tight darling. and sweet dreams.

i'll see you in a bit.

2006-09-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

he will do one of two things/ he will admit to everything/ or he will say he is just not the same/ and you begin to wonder why you came/

blah blah blah...

yada yada yada...

pfft. pfft. pfft. pfft.

argh.

ugh.

squirt.

right on your fucking eyeballs.

eugh.

now say my name.

it's a spit, really.

2006-09-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

they say he was a monster from birth, so fuck it/ i'll just a lean warn-os them hoes/ i suppose i took on the street life/ even though my mother told me i could be otherwise/

cheesecake and brownie. candles. one missing blueberry.

she sang to me. with such lovely voice.

presents. must be costly. i love them.

birthday pictures with candles on invinsible cake.

she took so much effort for this day. i'm so grateful.

and the waiter couldnt resist spilling coke on my god damn shirt.

but it's all good. she was there to remind me to be patient. i swear i could've cussed and swing at him.

one golden moment i'll never forget.

i just love her to bits.

thank you so much sweetheart.

oh, and one more thing. she's perfect. more than you could ever imagine. definitely much more beautiful than you. not that you are anyway. what do you have, bitch? i think you need a facelift.

happy birthday, me.

you deserve it more than anyone else.

2006-09-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

armed and dangerous, ain't too many can bang with us/ straight up weed no angel dust, label us notorious/ thug ass bitches that love to bust, it's strange to us/

i *****. for days. for i fear of losing that one girl whom i love so much. i was stumbling. i was a mess. i cant believe i fucking *****. i've never felt anything like this before.

gosh, i need you baby. i fucking need you.

my life, in your hands. don't you ever let go. and i cherish every moment with you; every part of you.

i wouldnt want to share this with you. but i just did. it was hard for me.

boys do cry, too.

2006-09-11T18:37:00.000-07:00

doesn't take much for me to race up/ and stank up when motherfuckers hate your guts/ you don't even gotta say much/ for me to put a pen to a blank sheet of paper/ like smearing blood stains with a paint brush/

you cant even write shit.

cant even spell shit.

shit.

what the fuck is you, huh.

son of a bitch.

fucking cunt.

you're a pussy, boy.

dont play with the big toys.

what the hell am i supposed to do now?

2006-09-08T12:18:00.000-07:00

i never knew that everything was falling through/ that everyone i knew was waiting on a queue/ to turn and run when all i needed was the truth/ and suddenly i become a part of your past/ i'm becoming the part that don't last/ i'm losing you and it's effortless/

what do i see in the future?

i see you.

yes, you.

hey, what do you see in the future?

2006-09-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

the sky glows/ i see it shining when my eyes close/ i hear your warnings but we both know/ i'm gonna look at it again/

i woke up at ten in the morning. searched for the phone on the bed. "morning hun...", i messaged her. as i guessed, the sleeping beauty was still in dream land. my phone beeped about half and hour later. it was her, "morning baby". i smiled to myself.

my dad told me my aunt just underwent a leg operation and had asked me to visit her at the hospital. shit, i thought to myself. i wouldnt want to delay my meeting with the girlfriend. i left home early that day.

after the visit, i rushed down to town. she had reached the station already. i felt bad, should had left earlier. we headed down to the esplanade; had a couple of laughs, wrestled and took pictures of ourselves. we kissed. she was simply irresistable. so i kissed her again. it was a special moment for me.

it was getting late. time for her to head back home. i sulked. "how i wish the day wouldnt end", i said to her. i just didnt wanna part with her. not now nor ever. we soon reached her place. i bid her goodbye and there she was gone. i sighed. my turn to go back home.

now wait, let's rewind back to the time when we kissed. and pause it.

2006-08-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

pedicure, manicure, kitty cat claws/ the way she climbs up and down them poles/ looking like one of them pretty cat dolls/ tryna hold my woody back through my drawers/

the worst thing that can happen to you is to have your girlfriend coming over to your place, said she needed to use the toilet and finds shit in the cubicle. because you forgot to flush down your shit earlier that morning.

fuck me.

2006-08-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

quit wasting my time/ and what would you've got to say/ well things have got to change/ say this just isn't right/ i don't wanna have to fight/ and i think i'd better go/ cause this ain't working out any more/ and i'm sorry/

ihustle.

coke, tobacco and mixtapes.

so he's been losing a lot of sleep lately; on times when he doesnt take them pills. he tried to loosen up a little bit. let some things off of the mind. but it kept recurring back and forth. back and forth, and he tossed and turned. even the sheets loses its place on bed. music doesnt seem to work anymore. nothing could put him to sleep naturally. he's in an eminent danger. alert red.

he was obsessed. a break up or two had done him some damage. men never take him seriously. he was vengeful. did seem apt. enough to have a faggot with a crowbar stucked to his nose, his neck on a vice-grip and a chain saw running through his crotch. all chained up. he wont struggle because he knows he cant. begging for his life which was never meant to be. tearing tears of pain. breathing for hope. a rude awakening. that taunting ring.

she tossed her phone aside as she lay down comfortably in bed. her eyes were closing. playing tricks on her. then came a message on her cell. the boy had wished her good night. she took off to dream land. nobody knew what happened to her in dream land. guess the boy will have to wait till she lands back on her bed again. he is missing her. but she never knew.

2006-08-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

> mother·fucking adj.

> motherfucker
> n : insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous [syn: asshole, bastard, cocksucker, dickhead, shit, mother fucker, prick, whoreson, son of a bitch, SOB]

hi kids.

i'm going to teach you a little bit on the principles of life.

let's start.

one, a motherfucker is normally referred to a guy. but in other exceptional times, it could also refer to a girl.

two, it's best to keep your fucking mouth shut. well not exactly all the time.
it may prove to be costly in the future.

three, most guys can or do sweet talk. let you in on a secret, i still have not mastered the skill of sweet talking till today.

four, shit happens. and i'm feeling shitty.

five, never hurt the one you love. i may have hurt someone deeply; i've hurt her enough already. but i'm not gonna show anyone that i've lost. i am trying hard every fucking day to prove my love to her.

six. suicide is not always the easiest way out. sometimes i wish i'd die. i guess i have a reason to live life right now.

2006-08-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

and if you go/ i wanna go with you/ and if you die, i wanna die with you/ take your hand and walk away/

remember the question i asked you about whether you can marry a dead person?

that was after you asked me what will i do if you die one day.

i guess i've answered your question.

i fret the day i won't be able to see you again.

not in that sense.

i think you know what i'm talking about.

my heart won't rest till i see you again.

here i am, thinking of you again.

2006-07-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

touch me deep, pure, and true/ give to me forever/ cause i'm kissing you/ i'm kissing you/ watching stars without you, my soul cries/ heaving heart is full of pain/ oh, the aching/

i looked at the time on my phone. it showed 2336 hrs.

i was on the line with her. i couldnt wait for midnight.

for today is our first month together.

i was shy. i wanted to tell her how joyful i am with her.

but i cant seem to be able to do it.

words cant describe how i feel towards her.

the adrenaline rush.

then, i get weak when you come near.

that's her. someone to call my own.

and i've been stupid and naive too. i dont wanna hurt you anymore.

and i hope there'll be many, many more anniversaries to come.

i love you. with all my heart and soul.

2006-07-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

please just don't play with me/ my paper heart will bleed/ this wait for destiny won't do/ be with me please i beseech you/ simple things that make you run away/ catch you if i can/

i was completely stunned.

dazed. fazed. by her. whatever you want to call it.

and i wonder, "how the fuck did i get here?"

and then i look at myself in the mirror.

i turned away before my eyes could actually get a glimpse of the image.

insecure, i thought.

heck, i love her with all my heart.

and i dont want to ever let her go.

flaws. i may not be the perfect boy for a girl like yourself.

for i fear you might be gone.

2006-07-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

it's like loading a bullet and aiming the gun at my head.

ready to squeeze.

how stupid can i get.

leave us alone, please.